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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Transition

Hii,
Atlast i have moved from my last position. Working with a big company now. Its a call center and i am just Specialist tech support... but hey, you have to start from somewhere. I am content with the fact that i have moved on with the life. My friends were happy to see the transition. My family is happy. But i can't say that all is well and everyone is happy for me. there are some persons who I think don't have the same feelings. But then, that's their choice. Their Personal Choice. I am still trying to deal with my inability to say NO. Need to work a LOT on it. but hey, it never feels bad anyway. I am sitting in my session waiting for my trainer. He is a bit late today. Seems like some transport issue. Well well well. All is well that ends well.

Didn't talk to Aneet since coming to Delhi. Just didn't feel like doing it. Somehow she is off my mind. I think i found some new priorities. Well the show must go on & yes, LIFE ROCKS!!!!!!

So far So GOOD.
Everything sems to fall in place.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

None to help

Still where i was last time. Still nobody to guide to light.
As they say

And i quote
" Yeh kaisi hai dosti, ke dost ban baithe hain naaseh,
kaash koi gham gusaar hota, koi chaara-saaz hota"

that roughly means that
"How this friendship turns out that the friends have become preachers
only if they would have been the sharer or healer"

These are the only lines that i feel close to me these days, the lines that i can relate to in addition to darkness around me. Everybody says that i should be somewhere else and i don't belong to my current position. There are so much expectations and you don't know how heavy this load can be. I am my own victim, living in constant fear of not being upto someone's expectations. Too conscious about my image. Trying to be Mr. Good for All. Nobody is trying to have a look from my point.

I feel heartbroken. Ready to burst, cry like a child, put my arms around someone's neck, put my head on someone's shoulder but can't find a good one no matter where i look. Don't feel like returning to home. Nobody's waiting. nobody cares if live hell out of house.. No nothing. I want to be somewhere else. Somewhere i can relate to myself as being ME and not someone's bro or friend or pal or Mr. reliable.

So long.......

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Why can't I

Today is 11 april of 2006 and the time is 20:03. I am looking in to myself and wondering what is it all about . Why do some people try to command over some other people? Why do they feel that whatever they do is the only right way. I feel that there are three ways to do a thing. The right way, the wrong way and the way i do it. Even then i i feel lost in here sometimes. everybody is expecting something out of me without caring for my position, my circumstances. One thing that i feel is responsib le for my this situation is my inability to say NO. Others are calling. BYE.