Still where i was last time. Still nobody to guide to light.
As they say
And i quote
" Yeh kaisi hai dosti, ke dost ban baithe hain naaseh,
kaash koi gham gusaar hota, koi chaara-saaz hota"
that roughly means that
"How this friendship turns out that the friends have become preachers
only if they would have been the sharer or healer"
These are the only lines that i feel close to me these days, the lines that i can relate to in addition to darkness around me. Everybody says that i should be somewhere else and i don't belong to my current position. There are so much expectations and you don't know how heavy this load can be. I am my own victim, living in constant fear of not being upto someone's expectations. Too conscious about my image. Trying to be Mr. Good for All. Nobody is trying to have a look from my point.
I feel heartbroken. Ready to burst, cry like a child, put my arms around someone's neck, put my head on someone's shoulder but can't find a good one no matter where i look. Don't feel like returning to home. Nobody's waiting. nobody cares if live hell out of house.. No nothing. I want to be somewhere else. Somewhere i can relate to myself as being ME and not someone's bro or friend or pal or Mr. reliable.
So long.......
