To Own or not to Own...

Hey Frenz!!! I am back....and I am into serious thinking about settling down.....And I am not saying this without any reason. For the first time in last two years, that is for the time I am here, thought to own a home has crossed my mind, and that too not once. I am thinking of owning a place so I believe that translates to thoughts of settling down..... You might not have noticed that I used own/owning where normally we would use buy/buying.
Point is that I think that buying doesn't make you owner in wider terms. I might own a thing without buying it. Now that can be inherited or vested upon to. Buying doesn't entitle us the right to own. I may buy something that does not belong to me so I don't own it. It surely is much simpler to write about it than to understand it.
Coming back to base conversation that we started. Reason that I have not done anything concrete about it is that I am still not sure about will I be staying here for the rest of my life. Strangely, I haven't thought of anything else as well. That makes matter worse for me. Since I haven't thought anything else, it makes it more difficult to think about next course of action. These two thoughts are pitted against each other and more delayed this decision is, more difficult it would be to implement it. Another factor in this state of indecision is the means to arrange funding for the place. After all its buy and then own, ;-). Dad is willing to fund the entire purchase but at cost of land we own, agricultural land that is. I am somehow not ready for it. Anyhow, I am going to think about it and plan some action around it.
So long.....

Happening Times !!!

Its been a very happening period for quite some time now. Prabhjeet is married and is off to his honeymoon. We are observing a turn around in management's perspective about different processes and guidelines after a few client side escalations.  

First things first, Prabhjeet (NOT Prabhmeet) is now married to a lovely lady Raman. She is from Patiala and its an arranged marriage. Who says arranged marriages are a thing of past? All I have seen till now is arranged marriages. And I don't find anything wrong with them as I have seen them succeed and sustain for as long as I can remember. However I have also seen some broken arranged marriages, but I know that this one will go far and stand the test of time. I know because I know Prabh. He has what it takes to get to next level. The way he has moved on with life has made me look things in a new light. I always thought that trying to look for the light at the end of the tunnel is for losers. A tunnel tells you to go straight but its a 3D world and I can move to any direction to find news paths. Now I believe it too.The light has finally shone on me.

 

Let there be light and there is light.....

I WILL NOT DIE !!!

I got what i needed.. some motivation...a hug...Prabh sent me a virtual hug and lots of push....exactly what i needed in way i wanted.....I think thats why his surname is Dilbar...i always believed its on purpose...it can't be just coincidence...that was pre-meditated.

After this booster shot, i did what i do best..looked at it alternatively...and found myself in a good position...better light and best mindset...I now have only four words in my mind...UP, UP & AWAY... I am going to fly again... I WILL NOT DIE!!!

Now what !!!

I have come at a point where i think i need to ask this question. Its now or never... I don't think i have money to spare..Yeah I am invested..but how much...Its been two years here..on my own...but do I have something that i can offer to my family..not exactly. True that I have invested around 60000/- on my own..but is that what i have saved in two years...two bloody years...Even that doesn't have the damn same value.... Will i be able to marry myself off...Will i be able to own a house on my oen...I seriously need to think about it...

I came acroos this thought due to an incident today...Something that took our business to where it all started..maybe in worse position....This made me think that what can i contribute to help cover the loss and i got the answer in a flash....NOTHING!!!... Bloody nothing....

and its not money alone that i am worried about...Its about settling down in life...I want to know where i am headed to..Right now the answer is NOWHERE......I can't even scream and ask for directions...Everyone is in their own desert...Who on earth am i to ask anyone to help if they are nit sure where they are heading...This takes content out of my mind...keeping me sleepless for hours...i am getting sick of it day by day...

I don't what can helpme...i feel like hugging , a deep long hug....but i don't have anyone around...Hey Prabh, Cheenu, Nicky..........you listen boyz...I need someone...Comeover boyz....I wanna hug you guyz....

Back to Base II

I am back at my room in Gurgaon...Thankfully plan B did not fail....For reference, plan B was to board Shatabdi and ask Atul to come over to pick us up... Everything went as planned...for once....

i am feeling sleepy at this time as is everyone else. i am not guessing as its evident because they are already sleeping soundly....or so it seems...Its Diwali eve and as i said earlier i will or rather we will be spending the night in office doing nothing but routine work..if its routine at all that is......

I have noticed that I am writing a bit too much on here about my  office of which mostly is negative...On second thought i am not sure if its negative..but its not positive though..Its something in between...if that exists....Also I have started seeing things in meaner way of doing it...Getting back to people about what they have done...being them to beat them....and i have realized that i am not good at this game... I see another average rating this month...I will have to talk to Ritesh about it...

Jassi called in today from sydney....Just wanted to talk his heart out in absence of anyone else to do so...

So long...

Back to base...

Hey Frenzzz.....

I am back to base again...figuratively...Sorry for being late...AGAIN...I know i shouldn't be...I started writing this post three weeks ago at my room in Gurgaon...right now i am in Model town Jallandhar. Pathetic way to maintain a blog I say... Writing a post every now and then is not what blogging should be...If this is what I have to do then I should probably start a newsletter rather than a blog... Okay..enough of self derogation...

First things first...I am here in Jallandhar to attend Sunny's sister's marriage... Quite unusually I have LEARNT what I have KNOWN for quite a long time. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". We planned an almost foolproof trip to attend this marriage and be back in time... But like every other plan..this one also had failure modes and for us no failure mode action plans...

We were caught off guard but managed to squeeze out with a pronto plan B. Apparently its too early to say that plan B has suceeded because it goes into action tomorrow...Till than its all just a plan......and as I said a plan always has some failure modes...In any case we have a plan C in place as well...

Secondly I will be spending Diwali eve and night, both, in office... We will be enjoying the time though...Seemingly...sounds quite sarcastic...with kind of targets and work pressure that we have....talking about fun is ironic....but we still manage to get some light moments out of it....Office life that is...

For all who are waiting for any updates on my love life....there is no news...not any new news atleast....Talking about my love life somehow takes me to another surreal levels....I feel elated, confused, angry and pathetic at the same time....Sometimes i feel like I am trying to be someone I am not...on other times i feel like being on top of the world....but most of the time I feel like I cannot landup in any love life whatsoever.....talking about which reminds me that sometimes i feel like flirting a lot too...God knows where will I landup if I ever do....

Say Let there be light and there will be light....

Writing again...

Hello Frenz!!! I am back after a significantly long time....but that has been routine here anyhow....Not a lot has happened since last post anywayz.....but yes there is a big change...we shifted from bloody to PG to a rented flat....Me, Sunny, Prabh and Gopi....Pooled in money to pay the rent and buy the stuff upfront...It has been quite a fine transition with occasional glitches that i believe would be part of anything anyhow...Writing this in to fill the gap...

Wide awake...

Here i am....sitting in fromt of computer at 0300 hrs in the morning writing on my blog. People would think i am crazy..but believe me..there are crazier people around....I need to go home for my exam on monday but to top this all non-sense i have not recieved my admit card yet....although the instructor has aplan for us...and a crappy one too...he suggest we go to university on monday hours before the exam and get my admit card...i don't know what will happen...i am not sure if my ticket to go home today is confirmed or not...website is dysfunctional at the moment....i was on waitlist-4 at last check whihc was yesterday evening.....

I am awake at thi moment becuase i was sleeping since 1800 hrs last evening....that was inturn because i was awake since 1600 hrs friday...that means total of 26 waking hours....and all this time was spent in office....yeah..thats right...i did almost back2back shift...don't ask me why i did that when i had the choice to return early and rest for next days morning shift...probably i get a high, some kind of intoxication by working hard....or probably i just want to cover up some shortcomings by highlighting other things.....whatever the reason may be....bottomline is that i am addicted to work...i just can't stay still....i have to do something every waking minute.....i can't even sustain a bloody channel on TV...just keep playing with the remote...as if iam intrested in everything on TV except whats on screen....Any ideas where all this is going to....please let me know......

Chardi kala.....

Whirrrrrrr!!!!!!

Everything just seems to pass by...i don't get enough time to do what i am supposed to do anyhow...everything is so..so .so.... so automated.....its all just passing by and i can't seem to control it....i think i need to sit down and take account.....but even that doesn't seem to be happening....how many times have i thought to do that....i can't recount.....i am not sure of almost anything.....do i want to settle down here...i don't know...do i want to immigrate...i don't know....and even if yes....when i am going to start the process.....when its too late.....its just a matter of coupleof hours to go and meet someone about it....and i am unable to take out those two hours...pathetic...shameful...probably now i would do it......bloody i don't want to write too....i am feeling like banging my fists on keyboard.....and i am going to just that ...you see what cmes up....,z;s;l'/;.,/

jkjm,nuj,ikmn/;lxc/.,; \'

]':CXl;dx/

This is the result of bangingon keyboard.....thats whats happening to me too....i do all the banging on my mind and results i nothing but crap.....Help me someone.....pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeeee!!!!

Pretty Busy.....

I would rather say hectic than busy.....and its set to get even more in coming days....Its been so long that i had actually forgot about thiss place unless rabh reminded me....A lot has happened in this time....personally and professionally.....first off i got promoted to Lead quality in just three months....Every Quality senior exec goes thriugh the same for that matter...so nothing great except the position itself....THE BAND 5....
I have actually been super busy these days...kind of that we usually read in magazines and articles....firebrand generation..always ready to work....chasing targets...no social life kinda thing...only social life present is ironically on office premises......and that i think is not healthy...literally and figuratiovely....Another thing that comes to my mind when i talk about my ofice is that only stress buster that most people know or use it to get drunk on weekends...that is i think more like a stress ball..you press it for sometime and then return it to its routine position.....
Another thing that i achieved in this period that i succesfully manged to watch moview Silsila..one with Amintabh & Rekha...you have to see it to believe it how beautiful Rekha can look....She can give close-ups like no one else can and really mean no one else....and only Yash chopra can give you a song right on opening of the filem without even a dialog or situation and still manage to make it look appropriate....also the romantic touch that was provided two songs back2back in movie...i haven't seen it in any other movie....Neela aasmaan so gaya and Dekha ek khwab, are literally back2back.....Romance on screen cannot get any better than this....


Lord help all....

Hmmm...lemme think....

First things first...i am really sorry for not being in here for so long now....i hope you don't think that i am back to my old ways....but believe me, i am really so busy that i get time to either sleep good or do other things...that includes blogging....

Coming back to the point, i hope you don't see the title of this post as sarcastic or written in absence of any appropriate title...this title is actually more appropriate to what is going around me these days...yes guys...i am having short term memory loss bursts..scary isn't it??? It sure is...you might think that forgetting keys or ID card is not a very big deal but believe me frenz it can be very scary...i lose my headset,my inventory & my record book almost daily and then i would find them somewhere and remeber that Yes, i left them there......It really is very very scary.....i am scared because someday i may forget something really important in a similar burst...and that may lead to God knows what....

On socio-personal level i have stopped drinking bacardi.....that doesn't mean that i won't drink at all..this means that i only drink vodka now and that without ANY dilution.....just shots...that i have tested can go upto 8 shots a night without throwing up.....

Sunny is sitting here with me now...he has just returned from his office....so i think i will shut up now....so long.....lord help all....