Filling the Gap

Just two days and we have a gap...Whatever happened to daily blogging...Anyway...It has been a busy productive day...I attended a session for home intrusion and access control systems, something that I wanted to get on to for quite sometime. t is the next thing that I want to add to our portfolio of products and services. Now it is just a matter of time and some tinkering with equipment. I think we can do something in this direction. In any case, it is a whole Line Of Business in its own.

Another thing that I thought over today was to streamline some internal processes. The one I need to urgently correct is the one that I started onto initially. For some reasons it was sidelined for some time. However, I think that before I move on to correct something else I need to enforce self-discipline as well. I felt that I have been very slack on many matters for quite some time now. Well, all is not lost yet. This can be corrected in short time if I impose self discipline.I have already some short-terms for myself to begin with. Lets see where we reach with it. I will be out of town for around three days starting Sunday, so I may not be able to post daily; but I will try and write something daily that I may post later. Bye for now...
God help all...

Dated 4 December, 2009

Fighting Impulse...

The day hasn't been as hectic or busy as I thought it would be. Most of it was practically wasted doing nothing, except maybe thinking about settling some chores. I think that is maybe becuase of the envirnoment I am currently in. Most of it however was my own will and accord.It seems like I have stopped approaching things as I once did. In retrospection, I miss being a quality analyst. Now, this is purely genric terms and in nomeans my days at IBM. This is more about the learning and style of work that I adopted. That was the major part of my thoughts today in the "wasted time".

The very thought that I am 'almost there' in everything that I do hit me like a rock. I somehow am missing the bulls eye. Now, it may be just a rough patch I may be doing something wrong. Maybe this is how it works. I don't know. I don't think that I can talk about it. Strangely I, who usually have something to talk about anything, don't have exact words to describe the feeling. It feels like I am losing my grip on things around me. I know what you are thinking Anshu but this is not frustration or aggravation or anything like that. Its just the feeling which I don't have a word for. In my language, Saala kuch khaas samajh nahi aa reha. Maybe I should act upon your advice. Let the flowing waters flow and keep on doing what I can. This however puts me in a different position. My nature won't let me watch everything from the sidewalk. Somehting inside will always push me to be in there and try and do what I can. I guess I will let time decide what should be the case. Maybe the recent incidents at the workplace would change some things around me. It may be also be just an impulsive action.

This turns my thoughts to another nuisance that I have to deal a lot with. Impulse. It is so strongly inherent in the system that it is almost impossible to fight with. Major reason that you can't oppose an impulsive action is that both legitimate effort and impulsive action start at the same note. They differ at how they end. A legitimate change or action would sustain whereas an impulse would soon fizz out. Anyways, I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Dated: 2nd December, 2009

Daily Dose...

I have decided to write a post a day from today onwards... I guess if I can sustain it for a week, it will continue for longer; Of course, a week in itself is long time. Due to increased frequency of posts and personal nature, most of the content with pretty regular stuff, since this blog is primarily for venting out and sharing my mind with anyone who cares to go through it. I reckon that most of the times it would be more or less of a daily journal.

Moving on, Cheenu wrote a very strong, and a very valued for that matter, reply to my earlier post(read it in comments). I think most of the times what you really want is for someone to listen and respond. No worldly words or pearls of words, but only to tell you that he is there. lately, I was thinking about our(me and Cheenu) discussions with kikki deedi. With her back in India on a vacation, the thoughts have started to flash increasingly. I was imagining a conversation with her where she might ask me why I didn't meet more often like old days. Only fitting reply I could think was that we had Cheenu back then so it was easy to meet up since there were three of us. Chances of anyone feeling lazy was 33% which has now increased to 50% since there is only me and Nicky here.

For the more regular part, the day was quite a bit for me. For once, I know what future holds. Tomorrow is going to be very hectic. Mind it that I said 'hectic' and not busy. I have more than a couple of engagements and it is going to be a difficult to balance all the balls, especially with Manish involved in one. I don't think it was much of a day other than planning and setting up things for tomorrow. In any case, its too late to continue writing but I think I will be back. So long...

Dated 1st December, 2009

Khyaal...

Aam naalo hatt ke eh post mai punjabi ch likhan dee soch reha haaN..issdi vajah koi bahuti political ya religious nahi...gall sirf ikk rau dee hai..ikk flow dee hai... mere khyal naal je koi kuch express karna chaahanda hai te ohde layee sab toh wadiya zariya ohdi roz dee bolchaal dee language hee ho sakdi hai...hun eh koi single language vee ho sakdi hai aur 3-4 languages dee composition vee; jiveN ke mai use kar reha..Punjabi, English te Urdu...

khair mudde dee gall eh ke picchle kujh dinaa toN mai kaafi busy reha haan...par eh busy koi iss tarah da busy jiven mai hona pasand karda haaN...mere khyal naal apni picchlee kise blog post vich maiN iss baare zikr kar chukkeya haaN...I don't recall exactly but it was about being busy and being under hectic schedule...mai eh bilkul nahi keh reha ke mainu iss busy-ness ne pareshaan keeta ja mainu waste jehi feeling aayee, but kite na kite eh feeling zaroor see, and for that matter hale vee hai, ke inni saari mehnat da result oh nahi nikalna jo socheya see...kyonki picchle chaar mahineya ch mai eh zaroor dekhya ke intentions da sab diyaaN OK ne aur sab kuch karna vee chaahNde ne..but implementation vele kuch na kuch game gol ho jaaNdi hai....oh sab gallaaN jo planning stage vich honiyaa chahidiyaa see oh implementation de vele nikladiyaaN ne...

ho sakda eh sab ikk shikayat ya cribbing lag reha hove par haqeeqat ehi hai ke planning aur implementation de vich da gap cover nahi ho paa reha...galti shayad meri vee hai ke mai plan nahi kar paa reha,par at the back of my mind issue ehi haike somewhere deep down I know ke it will all be manipulated at the end...Well in any case, I will do what I have to do, no matter what the results are...

te eh kuch lines mere khyal da nateeja e...eh kuch disconnected thoughts ne and may not mean anything to you...read at your own risk. :-D
So long...God help all!!!

kujh yaar mere pehlaN, te kujh nave bane;
eh khade rehan, main naal inna de jitt laiNda sansaar je chaahNda...

ikk mai, te ikk mai hee haaN mer kol hune;
kee kar laiNda mai karna tainu pyar je chaahNda...

dil vick kasak jehi hurdum ikk utthdi e;
kar laiNda koshish karni mai ikk vaar je chaahNda....

mudhna wapis shayad mumkin reha nahi;
mudhna mai ikk vaar te kee lakh vaar je chaahNda...

ikk tere baajh eh jagg hanera lagda e;
rabb kar diNda rushnai oh ikk vaar je chaahNda...

par, rabb nu vee kee dosh davaa iss baare hun;
rabb sadd laiNda ke saddna mai ikk vaar je chaahNda...