Operation Growth...

Finally there is some progress on skill enhancement for next level..or so it seems like... My manager talked to me about the lefttover conversation that I wrote about sometime ago....He suggested that I get invloved in some new projects & attend client calls...This may not ensure any particular skill enhancement but will definitely provide the much needed exposure....I chose to use MAY here becuase I think talking to client and presenting the current position is as good a skill as anything else... So I took this opportunity when it was offered that is today.....I am yet to see the kind of talking that we need to do in order to get it right....

   However I have this big problem that I don't want to interfere in my plans...THE BASIC KRAs...Lets see how things shape up....

Love help all.....   

What!!! What? Whaatt???

I am feeling a bit unorganized these days..... Unable to concentrate on certain MUST DO things...like my KRAs at office and so on.... I am a bit confused too these days...I don't know about what though.... Its a tough time I know 'coz I can feel it...The heat is on....Menatlly...As JK Rowling put it in Harry Potter books...Its cold and hopeless around...Seems like Dementors are here..... I am not afraid....but just kind of confused.... Unable to concentrate is a big problem especially in kind of environment I am working in....I know I have to take care of it.... So thought of writing it down for easy digestion ..;-)......
There are confusions on personal front as well.... Not directly with me but about people around me.....One of us has decided to switch the girl he wants to marry....Its quite confusing provided he was hell bent on another girl sometime ago....actually just a couple of weeks ago....Sunny isn't too happy about his new position...He kind of feels that it is less challenging than what he is used to....
Anywayz I am going to wind it up hoping that I will find my rhythm soon...Soon enough to actually use it....

Festivities Ahoy....

Hey its MArch...Springtime....I was reading an article in one of the newspapers..It was about a letter from a woman in big city to anther one in small town... it said that "It must be spring time there, but we only have March". Technically its the same but if you look at the intentions and the feeling behind it goes way beyond words.....

Something as simple as a month turns out to be a totally different world and panorama for some one else....Things are kicking in and March is THE busiest month of the year in financial world....Indian financial world...After all the its the year ending....Everyone rushes to fill their ITR.... But should we not stop to smell the flowers... I know Robert Frost said that its miles to go before I sleep...but isn't it to long of a journey to be actually worth it....Placing things in perspective is as important as actually having them or experiencing them...I find it of no use to own something and not experience it..... After all if I have invested anything in it, money, time or effort, I should be rewarded fully for it..Value is the real offer in here...

So coming back to original question..Is it worth it.....All this journey...Aimless wandering....Zero chase....Wild one too.... 

I need light.....Lord give all...

A New Art.....

Its a new thing.... Maybe its not what I should write about..but I consider art separate from religious beliefs.... I have leart to roll a joint... A smoke joint.. It doesn't mean that I smoked it too... It was just a wild thought that crossed my mind and Sachin obliged.... It was a nice experience to roll a joint being so detached to smoking actively..... I categorically chose to say actively here because I smoke passively... And in the kind of environment that I work in its quite unavoidable.... I hope you guyz understand the gravity of not being part of sutta break... You miss on all the grapevine.... Just wanted to let you know...
So long...Good lord be with everyone....

Mayday..Black Hawk Down...

Jot is married now and we have another loss to the club.....Anyways it was inevitable... Maybe delayed but bound to happen... Like many other things.. probably my own marriage... But thats secondary thought considering my plans to hold it till next level..officially...  

  Coming back to Jot's wedding, I don't mind saying that it was most pompous wedding of all that I have seen in such relation at any time.. Whole wedding procession was on chariots..Yes you read it right... 4 of them all... The procession marched thru the province going along GT road and then towards Amritsar bypass to PAP campus... Thats where the destination was... And bride was brought home in chariot too.. Quite like Kings... It was 4 days of pure busyness and fun ... I chose to write busyness first because that is what it was primarily... There was a very distracting act at the marriage though... There were way too many celebrities invited by the Bride's side... Master Saleem, Rai Jujhar, Sarabjeet Cheema & Firoze khan among others..Yes there were more too... People were engaged with them rather than Bride & Groom...  Cheenu found it highly disturbing and frustrating.... Nevertheless, they were invited so they came..

    All in all it was a fun four days.. I didn't miss office... I guess no one does, unless they are sitting there doing nothing.... Clearly, no one is workaholic at the core.. You are tyhere for as long as you are there... I didn't realize where the four days went..I had elaborate plans to spend these four days.. To meet KD and go to Kosmic world were one of many programs on my agenda on this trip...  But what is past is outof scope any how.. So I will wait for the next trip... 

So long... 

Be there Do it...

Another one down...More to go...

We have another casualty in charra brigade... Jagpal is married now.... We lost another soldier and married platoon gained one.... Anyhow.. in a bigger view it all equals out because losing two soldiers(Bride & Groom) from charra brigade paves way for more soldiers to come(Kids of course...)

So there is no way charra brigade is getting new recruits if we don't lose soldiers to married platoon.... I will soon post some pics on my picture album at picasaweb....Of course the album would be available to only selected few on invitational basis only...

On a professional front, everything is not as jolly... Everyone has started feeling the heat around and few have got some burns too... Not to mention cold shoulders from managers when it comes to taking a stand that is in direct contradiction of current situations but was a prevailing scenario sometime ago... It feels like ethics have no meaning whatsoever and only way to survive is to kill someone else... SYA is the name of the game in here.... and like everyone else...front like gets the most casualties.... I don't understand how can I penalise someone for what we have been encouraging them to do... We own all the moral responsibility of behaviour of someone who is directly influenced by our actions and advise.... I think the problem is in the big picture... Seemingly, people at the top are looking at some big picture which they are not sharing with lower levels and still expect them to understand all the crticalities.... Its like dictating someone about a landscape and expecting them to paint it exactly like it is without even seeing it..I don't know where it all is going to land up.....

Coming back to jolly things, jot's marriage is cheduled for next... FYI, Jot is Cheenu's brother...Cheenu is is arriving here tomorrow to attend the marriage...I have taken some leaves from office too.. Hopefully we will have a blast of time.... Rest all is to be decided by the fate....

Peace to all.......

Ready for it??? Not yet....

I have been under immense pressure to inevitable...THE MARRIAGE.......Yes my frenz...everyone is trying to get me married...Earlier I thought that its only my family who is trying to push me into it....I soon realized I was under misconception because there were more people to it....Not immediate family but yes...quite close...And today I realized how immensely everyone is looking toward me for marriage.....I received a phone call from a total stranger ...(He was stranger to me, not to my family though) and he asked the question point blank....I decided not to talk to this unexpected caller & handed over the phone to Mom... Mom however forwarded the same answer that I had for him...1-2 years atleast before I decide to jump the gun.....

This makes me think of something else as well...What if I decide not to marry at all.. Is it even a possibility?....Will I be able to do it? How will everything end up??? Are we going to see what we are trying to forget..Again??? Maybe...Maybe not....But one thing is for sure....I am not sure if I would marry or not.......

Live life....

Fear or Terror.....I am thinking...

Hey there....Back again after a long stint....Have been busy in too many things in recent past...November to February being the peak season for our LOB, I have been hell lot of busy...Busyness to the extent of being hectic.....Infact we started joking about being overworked and underpaid.....Second I had undergone a minor chest surgery...It was a an abscess of 5X5 cms and had to be removed surgically....I did not need to stay in hospital for long.....Just a day and that too, to complete cashless formalities...Max HealthCare hospital it was...and quite a good one too....Unexplainable, majority of staff was from down south....On the contrary most of the doctors were from closer regions....I didn't get the reason for it because I saw a similar arrangement in Columbia Asia hospital as well, where I went for the initial diagnosis. Probably a bigger talent pool down there for nursing....

I have been thinking about another thing in recent past...Terror of another kind...I realized that it doesn't have to be killing or a massacre to terrorize people...Terror by definition is a overwhelming feeling of fear....So the current financial and economic situations is more terrorizing to a lot of people than 26/11 attacks in Mumbai.....Job cuts, Salary cuts, No appraisals...I can keep on counting the weapons of economic fear.... People have lost sleep over uncertain things...Going to office & not knowing if they would go to same job next day...or for that matter will they have a job at all or not....Thinking about which I have been worrying a lot..No I am not worried about the layoff.... I am worried about my performance and growth opportunities.... I don't want to be the one waiting for so long to move to next level so that I might need to think that I am in here for too long... But the kind of discussions and perception that I have been and projecting makes me rethink about my suitability... and I have also seen that your image plays an important, almost deciding, role in your growth...You have to be either complete crap or a total asset to be moved to next level.... and I don't think I fall in any of the categories.... Being somewhere in there is a really dangerous territory... Not unchartered but really crowded....and that has been my strength all along to be in there and above them.....
I am going to talk to my mangers about it now... I think I would do it sooner than expected...Although I know one them would say that its a bit too early to talk about it as I am not eligible for movement anyhow..HR policies you know... So its time to perform and not worry....

On personal front, She and me are on talking terms again..Though she is still sarcastic about lack of contact from my side....Sometimes I think that I may...forget it...I will close the day here......See you soon...
Life cares....

Wishes...Good times???

Hi All,
I wish you a very happy and fulfilling rest of the year.. I can't wish for the days that have passed..right?? Anyways, the time truly is for celeberations and leave the past behind in last year...and embrace what is to come this year..Though the year doesn't look bright on international level..I mean look at Israel's attack on Gaza...Pakistan versus India standoff....LeT in J&K...LTTE in Sri lanka....It all is a very grim picture and we all are testifiers to this time...I don't consider this time as 'I was there' moment..Actually I don't remember any time in recent past that qualifies for the title....
Anywayz the point in conversatin is to try and get this year straightened out... for ourselves atleast...This may sound mean but charity begins at home... I need to reform myself first before trying it on someone else... So leaving International tensions at international levels I am going to TRY to fix myself up..This starts with better time management...I think if I start to manage my time efficiently, that I agree I waste a lot, I can make things happen like no one else has done it before....So I am going to prioritize things a bit. I have tried it for sometime and it worked but couldn't keep it going for long... I hope to keep this one going for quite some time....

Light to All....

To Own or not to Own...

Hey Frenz!!! I am back....and I am into serious thinking about settling down.....And I am not saying this without any reason. For the first time in last two years, that is for the time I am here, thought to own a home has crossed my mind, and that too not once. I am thinking of owning a place so I believe that translates to thoughts of settling down..... You might not have noticed that I used own/owning where normally we would use buy/buying.
Point is that I think that buying doesn't make you owner in wider terms. I might own a thing without buying it. Now that can be inherited or vested upon to. Buying doesn't entitle us the right to own. I may buy something that does not belong to me so I don't own it. It surely is much simpler to write about it than to understand it.
Coming back to base conversation that we started. Reason that I have not done anything concrete about it is that I am still not sure about will I be staying here for the rest of my life. Strangely, I haven't thought of anything else as well. That makes matter worse for me. Since I haven't thought anything else, it makes it more difficult to think about next course of action. These two thoughts are pitted against each other and more delayed this decision is, more difficult it would be to implement it. Another factor in this state of indecision is the means to arrange funding for the place. After all its buy and then own, ;-). Dad is willing to fund the entire purchase but at cost of land we own, agricultural land that is. I am somehow not ready for it. Anyhow, I am going to think about it and plan some action around it.
So long.....

Happening Times !!!

Its been a very happening period for quite some time now. Prabhjeet is married and is off to his honeymoon. We are observing a turn around in management's perspective about different processes and guidelines after a few client side escalations.  

First things first, Prabhjeet (NOT Prabhmeet) is now married to a lovely lady Raman. She is from Patiala and its an arranged marriage. Who says arranged marriages are a thing of past? All I have seen till now is arranged marriages. And I don't find anything wrong with them as I have seen them succeed and sustain for as long as I can remember. However I have also seen some broken arranged marriages, but I know that this one will go far and stand the test of time. I know because I know Prabh. He has what it takes to get to next level. The way he has moved on with life has made me look things in a new light. I always thought that trying to look for the light at the end of the tunnel is for losers. A tunnel tells you to go straight but its a 3D world and I can move to any direction to find news paths. Now I believe it too.The light has finally shone on me.

 

Let there be light and there is light.....

I WILL NOT DIE !!!

I got what i needed.. some motivation...a hug...Prabh sent me a virtual hug and lots of push....exactly what i needed in way i wanted.....I think thats why his surname is Dilbar...i always believed its on purpose...it can't be just coincidence...that was pre-meditated.

After this booster shot, i did what i do best..looked at it alternatively...and found myself in a good position...better light and best mindset...I now have only four words in my mind...UP, UP & AWAY... I am going to fly again... I WILL NOT DIE!!!

Now what !!!

I have come at a point where i think i need to ask this question. Its now or never... I don't think i have money to spare..Yeah I am invested..but how much...Its been two years here..on my own...but do I have something that i can offer to my family..not exactly. True that I have invested around 60000/- on my own..but is that what i have saved in two years...two bloody years...Even that doesn't have the damn same value.... Will i be able to marry myself off...Will i be able to own a house on my oen...I seriously need to think about it...

I came acroos this thought due to an incident today...Something that took our business to where it all started..maybe in worse position....This made me think that what can i contribute to help cover the loss and i got the answer in a flash....NOTHING!!!... Bloody nothing....

and its not money alone that i am worried about...Its about settling down in life...I want to know where i am headed to..Right now the answer is NOWHERE......I can't even scream and ask for directions...Everyone is in their own desert...Who on earth am i to ask anyone to help if they are nit sure where they are heading...This takes content out of my mind...keeping me sleepless for hours...i am getting sick of it day by day...

I don't what can helpme...i feel like hugging , a deep long hug....but i don't have anyone around...Hey Prabh, Cheenu, Nicky..........you listen boyz...I need someone...Comeover boyz....I wanna hug you guyz....

Back to Base II

I am back at my room in Gurgaon...Thankfully plan B did not fail....For reference, plan B was to board Shatabdi and ask Atul to come over to pick us up... Everything went as planned...for once....

i am feeling sleepy at this time as is everyone else. i am not guessing as its evident because they are already sleeping soundly....or so it seems...Its Diwali eve and as i said earlier i will or rather we will be spending the night in office doing nothing but routine work..if its routine at all that is......

I have noticed that I am writing a bit too much on here about my  office of which mostly is negative...On second thought i am not sure if its negative..but its not positive though..Its something in between...if that exists....Also I have started seeing things in meaner way of doing it...Getting back to people about what they have done...being them to beat them....and i have realized that i am not good at this game... I see another average rating this month...I will have to talk to Ritesh about it...

Jassi called in today from sydney....Just wanted to talk his heart out in absence of anyone else to do so...

So long...

Back to base...

Hey Frenzzz.....

I am back to base again...figuratively...Sorry for being late...AGAIN...I know i shouldn't be...I started writing this post three weeks ago at my room in Gurgaon...right now i am in Model town Jallandhar. Pathetic way to maintain a blog I say... Writing a post every now and then is not what blogging should be...If this is what I have to do then I should probably start a newsletter rather than a blog... Okay..enough of self derogation...

First things first...I am here in Jallandhar to attend Sunny's sister's marriage... Quite unusually I have LEARNT what I have KNOWN for quite a long time. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". We planned an almost foolproof trip to attend this marriage and be back in time... But like every other plan..this one also had failure modes and for us no failure mode action plans...

We were caught off guard but managed to squeeze out with a pronto plan B. Apparently its too early to say that plan B has suceeded because it goes into action tomorrow...Till than its all just a plan......and as I said a plan always has some failure modes...In any case we have a plan C in place as well...

Secondly I will be spending Diwali eve and night, both, in office... We will be enjoying the time though...Seemingly...sounds quite sarcastic...with kind of targets and work pressure that we have....talking about fun is ironic....but we still manage to get some light moments out of it....Office life that is...

For all who are waiting for any updates on my love life....there is no news...not any new news atleast....Talking about my love life somehow takes me to another surreal levels....I feel elated, confused, angry and pathetic at the same time....Sometimes i feel like I am trying to be someone I am not...on other times i feel like being on top of the world....but most of the time I feel like I cannot landup in any love life whatsoever.....talking about which reminds me that sometimes i feel like flirting a lot too...God knows where will I landup if I ever do....

Say Let there be light and there will be light....

Writing again...

Hello Frenz!!! I am back after a significantly long time....but that has been routine here anyhow....Not a lot has happened since last post anywayz.....but yes there is a big change...we shifted from bloody to PG to a rented flat....Me, Sunny, Prabh and Gopi....Pooled in money to pay the rent and buy the stuff upfront...It has been quite a fine transition with occasional glitches that i believe would be part of anything anyhow...Writing this in to fill the gap...

Wide awake...

Here i am....sitting in fromt of computer at 0300 hrs in the morning writing on my blog. People would think i am crazy..but believe me..there are crazier people around....I need to go home for my exam on monday but to top this all non-sense i have not recieved my admit card yet....although the instructor has aplan for us...and a crappy one too...he suggest we go to university on monday hours before the exam and get my admit card...i don't know what will happen...i am not sure if my ticket to go home today is confirmed or not...website is dysfunctional at the moment....i was on waitlist-4 at last check whihc was yesterday evening.....

I am awake at thi moment becuase i was sleeping since 1800 hrs last evening....that was inturn because i was awake since 1600 hrs friday...that means total of 26 waking hours....and all this time was spent in office....yeah..thats right...i did almost back2back shift...don't ask me why i did that when i had the choice to return early and rest for next days morning shift...probably i get a high, some kind of intoxication by working hard....or probably i just want to cover up some shortcomings by highlighting other things.....whatever the reason may be....bottomline is that i am addicted to work...i just can't stay still....i have to do something every waking minute.....i can't even sustain a bloody channel on TV...just keep playing with the remote...as if iam intrested in everything on TV except whats on screen....Any ideas where all this is going to....please let me know......

Chardi kala.....

Whirrrrrrr!!!!!!

Everything just seems to pass by...i don't get enough time to do what i am supposed to do anyhow...everything is so..so .so.... so automated.....its all just passing by and i can't seem to control it....i think i need to sit down and take account.....but even that doesn't seem to be happening....how many times have i thought to do that....i can't recount.....i am not sure of almost anything.....do i want to settle down here...i don't know...do i want to immigrate...i don't know....and even if yes....when i am going to start the process.....when its too late.....its just a matter of coupleof hours to go and meet someone about it....and i am unable to take out those two hours...pathetic...shameful...probably now i would do it......bloody i don't want to write too....i am feeling like banging my fists on keyboard.....and i am going to just that ...you see what cmes up....,z;s;l'/;.,/

jkjm,nuj,ikmn/;lxc/.,; \'

]':CXl;dx/

This is the result of bangingon keyboard.....thats whats happening to me too....i do all the banging on my mind and results i nothing but crap.....Help me someone.....pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeeee!!!!

Pretty Busy.....

I would rather say hectic than busy.....and its set to get even more in coming days....Its been so long that i had actually forgot about thiss place unless rabh reminded me....A lot has happened in this time....personally and professionally.....first off i got promoted to Lead quality in just three months....Every Quality senior exec goes thriugh the same for that matter...so nothing great except the position itself....THE BAND 5....
I have actually been super busy these days...kind of that we usually read in magazines and articles....firebrand generation..always ready to work....chasing targets...no social life kinda thing...only social life present is ironically on office premises......and that i think is not healthy...literally and figuratiovely....Another thing that comes to my mind when i talk about my ofice is that only stress buster that most people know or use it to get drunk on weekends...that is i think more like a stress ball..you press it for sometime and then return it to its routine position.....
Another thing that i achieved in this period that i succesfully manged to watch moview Silsila..one with Amintabh & Rekha...you have to see it to believe it how beautiful Rekha can look....She can give close-ups like no one else can and really mean no one else....and only Yash chopra can give you a song right on opening of the filem without even a dialog or situation and still manage to make it look appropriate....also the romantic touch that was provided two songs back2back in movie...i haven't seen it in any other movie....Neela aasmaan so gaya and Dekha ek khwab, are literally back2back.....Romance on screen cannot get any better than this....


Lord help all....

Hmmm...lemme think....

First things first...i am really sorry for not being in here for so long now....i hope you don't think that i am back to my old ways....but believe me, i am really so busy that i get time to either sleep good or do other things...that includes blogging....

Coming back to the point, i hope you don't see the title of this post as sarcastic or written in absence of any appropriate title...this title is actually more appropriate to what is going around me these days...yes guys...i am having short term memory loss bursts..scary isn't it??? It sure is...you might think that forgetting keys or ID card is not a very big deal but believe me frenz it can be very scary...i lose my headset,my inventory & my record book almost daily and then i would find them somewhere and remeber that Yes, i left them there......It really is very very scary.....i am scared because someday i may forget something really important in a similar burst...and that may lead to God knows what....

On socio-personal level i have stopped drinking bacardi.....that doesn't mean that i won't drink at all..this means that i only drink vodka now and that without ANY dilution.....just shots...that i have tested can go upto 8 shots a night without throwing up.....

Sunny is sitting here with me now...he has just returned from his office....so i think i will shut up now....so long.....lord help all....