My parents have taken it as a personal battle to marry me. I, however, don't think that I am ready for it yet. My thoughts wander to the age old question, answer to which, is the very basic of human nature and foundation of the modern society. Why should I marry or Must I marry? I will try and steer my thoughts to some reasons or justifications of this institution.
It may sound cliche, but human is a social animal. The differentiation is however purely theoretical. We are in constant need of companionship and want someone who can take off load from us. This 'load' can be emotional, physical or sexual. I think that the need of having a dedicated listener is big relief for everyone and also the reason for most of the arguments in a relation. On the contrary if everyone is a good listener then who will be a good speaker. Anyways; Coming back to the point, It sometimes get very difficult to contain the emotions within ourselves and we look for someone with whom we can share all that we want and still be as sure as we never talked about it to anyone.
Another reason that I think is foundational to the concept is that we constantly seek to evaluate ourself. Being married, attaches a tag to you and establishes that you are not worthless and there will always be someone to whom you are in(valuable). I also believe that this is one of the implied facts of being in love. People tend to things for people they love; that they normally would try to avoid. That is why people feel dejected after breakups and go to extremities like committing suicide. The feeling of being worthy for someone to command a dedicated life is pretty overwhelming I think.
Sexuality is another reason given by some to marry. Well, it gives you a supposedly dedicated partner for sex and you are allowed to use the right freely to your will. However, I think it is more of a civil and social matter. To give you a point of view on my thoughts, I don't understand the difference between consented sex and rape; as far as performing sex goes. Sex is OK for two people as long as they have consented to it but is considered rape if one of them disagrees. This seems like more of a social issue and matter of mentality or point of view. What if we consider sex as only what it is. Sex. Coming back to the point, I don't feel that Sex is the reason for which people marry. I ,however, definitely agree that reproduction is a reason for people getting married. Now, Sex and reproduction are overlapping functions and can never be mutually exclusive or independent. It is implied that reproductions in inherently dependent on Sex. This, however, is again a matter of how you look at it.
I would love to have your thoughts on it. How much do you agree or disagree with me. You think that there is something that is the reason for marriage? Go ahead add to post.
Have you stayed or worked with a person who is unmarried in his late 40`s???
ReplyDeleteImagine you being one.. and you will get your answer.
after i read this.i do agree wd u,b'coz its our lyf or thinking ,but parents thinking is also metters,coz they alreay fased all the difficulties in there lyf.so they know better about social lyf.they already passed through that way......................we can't change there feeling & wishies about us. until we become as parent....
ReplyDeleteeveryone has thier own thoughts... its not a mandate to have that TAG called marriage but as vaunerable humans we tend to explore more and more and at times forget that we have some people who get affected by us.... and if you dont have that "tag" you may take the liberty to exploit the relation and hurt someone's feeling... as far as reproduction is concerned.. dont even bother everyone's been fucking hard and popping out babies more than enough.. so you wont do anything nice to pop out a few more.... well thats again my thought!!
ReplyDeletethink wht makes u happy, n don't b different just for the sake of being different... its not some social or human obligation, its very personnel as its ur n ur partner's life tht is in question... for starting think whether u like the person ur getting married to enough? if u do then either u can get married or u can live like a married couple even without getting married (if u think marriage will tie u down n u want to b with the person without ne obligations / freedom to move out or call it off ne time) if u don't like ur partner enough then its a 'break off' even after marriage... if u think ur happy n better off alone stay alone... either ways i hope decision taken by u makes u happy... i think institution like marriage exists because old wise people knew tht with time people change, feelings change, and a relation is bound to fail if relationship is based on feelings alone as every1 is selfish at the end of the day...so unless people r not bound by something else then its hopeless, feelings will keep on changing and so wud b the partner... tht also means no family... they just provided stability to a relationship through marriage... if there wud hav be no concept of marriage then couples wud have been in a relationship and then moved on, n kids wudn't hav known wht it means to hav a family, i think family wudn't hav been in existence, because marriage exists families exists... thts the major difference between Indian and foreign countries... there the couples don't care abt each other, they r in live in relationships even the one's tht r married they break off, free society,after a point of time i guess the excitement goes away feelings dies or feelings change in other terms u can say freedom happens, its like after a certain age kids r on their own and when parents grow old, kids don't care, parents r on their own... thts the life.. remember wht Guru Sahib said "aapay beej aapay he khao, Nanak hukmi aavoh jao" so end of the matter is in short line "think wht u want to reap n sow accordingly" there r no guarantees though tht u'll b happy after marriage or u'll b happy if ur single... either thing can fail, i think it boils down to an individual as well how he or she handles life, at the end of the day only God knows wht he does just thank him which ever way this turns out to b, n live happily... :)
ReplyDeleteDesh