Condolences !!!

This post is dedicated to condole the loss of a dear one to one of my best friends....Anshu has lost his sister to unforeseen... No words can fill the void that the departed has left and no one can replace the any other person...She was what she was and no one can be her...or take her place...Yet so is the world's doings...We must move on....May the lord give Her family the power to bear the grief and move forward... May lord be with her and keep her in his shelter forever and ever....
कभी देखो मन नही जागे, पीछे पीछे सपनो के भागे,
एक दिन सपनो का राही चला जाए सपनो के आगे.

Disconnected Thoughts...

I see darkness... Darkness out there...Darkness in here...darkness standing on terrace...darkness sitting in a room...darkness of the night...darkness of the mighty heart...this makes me think...or this thinking makes me ponder..why is it such dark everywhere..be it me, anyone or anything..everything is of a dark shade..Even white seems like a faded shade of black...And no, I am not depressed or under influence of alcohol at the moment...and I am not frustrated at this time too... Its just that the thought came along with many other...

Other thoughts..that include my carrier, people around me..people far from me, people close to me & people away from me...I don't see the reason for being so connected...yet so disengaged...no one actually gives a damn about anything other than what directly or indirectly concerns them...Heck they don't even care about things that affect them indirectly...

And what about love...has there to be a commitment to it..has there to be a condition to it....
I know what you are thinking Prabh(meet), but its not about her alone...Its about any kind of love that you might think of...family..friends..work....anything....I prided myself for being a workaholic..but that love for work doesn't exist anymore...does that make me less committed to it..I don't think so...So if commitment doesn't demand love...How come love needs commitment...and if they are mutually independent..then why the hell do we have to talk about getting it out of our minds...I guess you see where I am getting to...I don't want to venture into that territory... I really don't want to..Let it rest here...

हजारों ख्वाहिशे ऐसी के हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले,
बहुत निकले मेरे अरमान, मगर फ़िर भी कम निकले.

Near future....Don't know....

I have taken a step to move away from my current situation...Problem is that I am not sure if that is what I will do... Of course I want to end all this and return to normal life, if it exists that is...but then, what do I need to do..or do I even need to do anything or just wait...I hope waiting is not what I should be doing...It is wise to make the hay while sun shines..So I should start the efforts now and look for things as they come... Its no harm in being prepared...

I even got an offer to return to base...in new improved conditions...My hesitation is that the conditions might come across again which forced me to jump the curtain last time...People are of opinion that this would not happen but then if it does, I don't think I can do another transition....All these choices are actually making things worse for me...and these aren't even realized into choices..these are just plans that are being formulated around me....

Returning back to base also would have some loss of face attached to it I guess.... Maybe returning is not an option..Maybe it is...but then that all would need an intimate, if not lengthy, discussion... A small pep talk is not enough to help me decide on such a big decision....I need someone to talk about it heart to heart...Another difference is that people are not assertive to this idea to the extent that they were sometime ago...If it would have been an offer a year or so earlier, I guess enough people would have plainly denied on it..but now, to almost everyone I talked to about it, sounds OK about it...Of course they have their own reservations but they are not the same kind that they had earlier..

So I don't know what future holds....not that anyone else knows but I don't even know what the flow is and where might I land up in a year or so...Help me decide...

Frustration...All around !!!

I have realized something this weekend...that frustration is much more prevalent than it seems...There are more people affected by it than what I am able to see...The realization came to me when I was consoling someone...We were talking about the frustration in both personal and professional life...and the question she posed was "Why me?" The answer came to me like a lighting bolt and in almost a reflex action I rattled it off...It wasn't actually an answer to her question but more of response to it...and that made me feel better as well personally. I said, and realized too, that there is no way we can know that it is happening only to us..There might be other people who are dealing with similar or may be more stress than us...Can anyone tell that she is in so much pain by just looking at her..No..not even the people she meets at the office daily...Similarly you can't tell what others are going through.... So stop pitying yourself and move on...

Then I realized that the same applies to me as well...Why be so frustrated with people around me... Why take it out on them??? After all this whole frustration thing is based on the assumed premise that it is happening only to me and all other are better off....Now this maybe right or wrong..but there is no way to know...So moving on is the only option that we have...

यूं तो मालूम है जन्नत की हकीकत लेकिन,
दिल के खुश रखने को ग़ालिब ये ख्याल अच्छा है...

Taste buds...Yummmmm!!!!

Hurrayy!!!! It is my 50th post ...and what better topic to write other than food and celebrations....

Naseer, one of my peers, got married last week... and by virtue of which I had my long desire fulfilled..to eat hardcore Muslim food..and believe me..it tastes as good as it looks....I don't remember when was last time I had such subtly flavored chicken lolly pop...or so soft Seekh kebabs....

Now some of you might find it offensive that I should be eating hardcore Muslim food being a Sikh...but I have another view on it...One, I shouldn't be eating any kind of meat in the first place...Second, If I do, that is eat meat, it shouldn't matter how is it cooked because you can't guarantee if its jhatka or halaal sitting in a restaurant....So my advice...go on and indulge if you eat meat....It doesn't matter who or where is it cooked as long as its hygienic..or at least projected to be hygienic....I mean what you don't know doesn't hurt you....kind of twisted but I call it reverse logic....

So coming back to wedding part..It was quite a lavish and liberal wedding compared to what we had imagined...lots of ladies around..and good food too..We had so much snacks that we could only so much for main course...It was a Non-vegetarian's heaven out there that night... and then we had a lazy cup of coffee at CCD while returning...Incidentally there were four Muslim women and a couple of guys at the CCD...All four ladies were wearing burkha...Seems like it was Muslim night out... :-)

I am craving for some more of the similar food...Probably I would end up eating some usual kebabs or chicken dishes...I think its time to sign-off coz writing about all this is pushing me more towards craving for the food....

Go on..Indulge...