Fear...Friend, Foe or a Nagging Companion

This is the second time that I am talking about fear in here, though it is different than first time. Earlier it was fear of unknown supreme power that forced people to religion and spirituality. This time it is about fear of something much more materialistic. They say that fear is the your best friend and biggest enemy; as it stops you from achieving what you deserve and also gives you unsaid once you face it.

     Particularly, I am more focused on the fear that constantly nags you through. Its like you know that a clock is ticking somewhere and every time you hear a bang you are afraid that it might be the bomb. You meet people and are instantly concerned if anything has gone wrong. I come back and first thing I check if everything is as calm as it seems. I am afraid. Very very afraid. They say that a wife is your best friend despite her constant and continuous nagging. Is it same with the fear? I say so because in most cases the fear remains with you in all times like a good wife. It constantly is there. Ticking, nagging, pushing you; but never really leaving you

I am told to not worry about such issues but is it really possible to ignore what you see and hear. Also, as rightly said in "Anatomy of a Murder"; "How can Jury ignore what it has already heard? It Cannot. It cannot."

Harmony: easy to pronounce, difficult to achieve

Its all around. I see everyone trying to balance their life and many trying desperately. I also see that people have trouble doing so and also that they have best ideas on how to do it when it comes to advising others. Harmony is no easy task whether its in instruments or in life albeit more difficult in latter.
 Its like trying to tune a bass guitar to the tune of flute; and that too on a higher note.  I find it difficult to accommodate  and not to mention irritating, that people mostly chose to ignore the logic behind certain things or they simply lack the plain tolerance. That includes me too, however I believe I do it lesser than most others I know. Th biggest problem is that people chose to ignore things that shouldn't be ignored and stick to the ones that ought to be ignored. Why is it almost an impossibility with some to let go of the situation. I know, by personal experience, that it is not possible to forget what has happened but at-least one should have the sense to move on and not hold a grudge.
 As rightly said by S H Bihari and beautifully sung Mahendra Kapoor
                                          " लाखोँ हैं यहाँ दिलवाले और प्यार नहीं मिलता 
                                               आंखो में किसी की वफ़ा का इकरार नहीं मिलता "

The Illusionists

Well, this is not about the movie but the people out there. Actually its about people in here. I am fed of the people with their masks on and projecting themselves as someone else. Isn't it ironical that how people with masks fail to project and people who can project don't have good enough masks. Why is it that certain people fear nothing when they step on others? Somehow they feel no remorse, no guilt about it. Its as if they take some pride in doing so.
   I know everyone has a right and way of life and are free to lead their lives the way they want to; but isn't it outright human to care and consider for others. Is it there upbringing or social circle that molds their thoughts the way they are or is it certain circumstances that force them to do so? I know some of you would tell me to outright ignore these people but believe I would have if I could. The problem is that one can not ignore what has transpired and is inscribed in the memory forever. There is no reset in life.

कसमें वादे प्यार वफ़ा सब, बातें हैं बातों का क्या; 

कोई किसी का नहीं ये झूठे नाते हैं नातों का क्या..

Is it all???

I sometime wonder at my persistence at advising to all and mostly failing to act upon them myself. I hear myself telling others about their behavior and telling them what to do and blatantly ignoring the same when it comes to me. I lose temper quickly and end up doing that I expect of others to not do.
 I believe that this is not anger but angst. I guess part of it is the insecurity that stares me in the face about my future; and present. I am afraid that it might be too late for anything actually good to happen to me or my life. I see so much and I hear so much that I wish that I was never here. I want to get out and shut myself out of it.

ए मेरे दिल कहीं और चल, ग़म की दुनिया से दिल भर गया, ढूंढ ले अब कोई घर नया....